There is nothing worse than someone telling you about the crazy dream they had last night. But, on the flip side, there is nothing better than hearing about someone's crazy sleep issue.
The following are just a few of the crazy stories Redditors have to offer:
1. Sleep talking
Jalalabadminton shared that her ex-boyfriend once said the following angrily as he rolled away from her in his sleep:
"Just because my middle name is Pancake doesn't mean you can put syrup on me before I'm ready to come out of the oven."
2. Sleep eating
Calories don't count if you're asleep, right?
Stickleyman once found their roommate standing in front of the fridge sound asleep with the freezer door open, gnawing on a frozen bagel.
"When he asked me what I was doing, I told him to mind his fucking business and go back to Peru. He's never even been to Peru."
It could be worse. You could be this guy:
3. Sleep attempted suicide
At least the last guy was eating food.
MeTaL_eNt shares what happened the first, and only time he took an Ambien:
"So, my dad had a prescription for Ambien. I had never taken it, just heard you will sleep amazingly...cough and kinda trip if you stay awake. He never took them so I thought I would try one. So I took ONE...got crazy sleepy and just went to bed about the time the curtains in the bathroom seemed a little wobbly. With a small giggle and a prance to my bed later I was asleep. Little did I know the crazy side effects of Ambien include sleep walking, driving, eating...etc. For some reason my unconscious reaction was to go sleep eating. The rest of the ambien. Was found the next morning with an open pill bottle on the cabinet, every light in the house was on, every door open, and face down in bed pantsless. Still haven't convinced everyone I didn't attempt suicide. Also never took ambien again. Upside, I slept amazingly."
Well, at least there's that.
Sleepwalking can be dangerous for more than just the walker.
Redditor epicfaceplant12, a chronic sleepwalker for all of his life, shares the following
"I was about 12, and was in Canada for a skiing trip for my half-brother's birthday. We go up a few ski lifts, and naturally on the very first run he falls... and tears his ACL. He is promptly tobogganed to the bottom of the hill, and goes through some medical procedures, the details of which I dont remember because I was 12 and felt like playing Smash Bros back in our condo.
Fast forward to that night, my half-brother is sleeping on the pullout bed and I'm resting soundly in my bed. Well, naturally my sleepwalking habits take hold, and I walk out to the area where my brother is sleeping.
I then proceed to cannonball onto him, landing on the leg with his newly torn ACL.
He promptly wakes up with a scream, but Im still sound asleep at this point. Tersely, he tells me to get ice from the freezer. I comply, then return to bed where I would await his exasperated explanation of the previous night's events in the morning."
5. Sleep Cooking
Gelindin's husband is a sleepwalker and as she shares that can be very amusing...for her.
"I found him in the kitchen at the stove with a pot, spoon, and an unbroken egg in the pot. He was standing there naked shaking his little bum and moving the egg around the pot. I asked what he was doing and he whispered 'making eggs'. Then walked back to bed."
Well, as long as he knew what he was doing.
6. Sleep Art
Sometimes while sleeping, one's true artistic self can come out.
Like in the case of SirBottomtooth:
"For some strange reason I was amazing at paper mache when I was on Ambien. I would wake up to find them all over my house. I have no idea how to paper mache sober."
That's actually kind of nice.
7. Sleep sex
MorganNeedsCoffee's boyfriend initiates sex in his sleep...and doesn't wake up. She even says he's like a different person. Thankfully, she likes both versions.
"He calls himself Nightbang...
Basically he'll turn over, start feeling me up roughly and then just rip off my pants and start going at it. He's usually very gentle during sex, but in his sleep state he's super rough and fast.
I like both versions. Though lately I'm hoping NightBang pays me a visit."
8. Sleep Cleaning
"My mom woke up to find me in my underwear, with the vacuum, steering it back and forth over the carpet, not even on, electrical cord still wound tight, just vacuuming."
It's the thought that counts right?
Get some rest.