Babies aren't easy. They need constant taking care of, and a lot of new parents have the tendency to take things maybe just a little bit too far. Reddit user Fordiman recently posted an email he sent his son's first babysitter in the parenting subreddit r/parenting. The meticulous 73-point instruction manual for taking care of his son is just the littlest bit overbearing. The level of detail is more suited for instructions on how to dismantle a bomb than how to take care of a baby for a night.
It starts with a very strict feeding schedule, and an analysis of the proper way to hold a bottle. Followed by reasons why the baby might be crying. One of which is that his diaper might be dirty. Fordiman very helpfully includes the fact that "Poop will have a distinct smell." And thank goodness he did. Had he not included that fact, the babysitter might not have known what had come out of the baby.
![REDDIT](http://www.appelsiini.net/projects/lazyload/img/grey.gif)
The skills Fordiman thinks are absolutely necessary for taking care of a baby are shushing, mastery of the binky or "Baby plug," swaddling and bouncing. But bouncing needs to be limited to two bounces a second.
![REDDIT](http://www.appelsiini.net/projects/lazyload/img/grey.gif)
One would think changing a diaper would be pretty self explanatory but Fordiman's instructions prove this is just not true. "If it's a goddamned warzone, carefully cut his outfit off, using blunt-nose scissors," he describes. "Don't worry about the outfit; no one likes taking off a poopy onesy, and particularly not him."
![REDDIT](http://www.appelsiini.net/projects/lazyload/img/grey.gif)
Interaction is very important to Fordiman. He very helpfully explains how to help a baby sit. And I hope this babysitter brought their guitar. Fordiman writes his son "likes live guitar."
![REDDIT](http://www.appelsiini.net/projects/lazyload/img/grey.gif)
The email is amazing in its thoroughness, but my favorite part comes in the comments. "We were gone two hours," writes Fordiman. "She didn't even have to change a diaper."
![Icon heart envelope](http://asset2.spring.st/assets/icons/icon-heart-envelope-25da2ebb21fbaaf7bbeb3da0f089e0ebab3e6109a17ed866353a6a41f72c6927.png)
instant happy in your
mailbox every day.