PHOTO: NBC UNIVERSAL
It's a Saturday afternoon, and you and your partner decide you've lived long enough without bedside tables. So, you decide to drive out to your local IKEA thinking that while you're there, you may as well check out new lamps, a sofa, and a bed frame while you're at it.
In your head, you imagine the two of you hand-in-hand exploring all your options. Maybe you'll pick a nice unfinished Tarva and you guys can choose a paint color together. Maybe you'll decide to get a Lycksele Lövås sleeper sofa and have friends over next weekend
But in reality, when you get there you'll argue about whether you're a Hemnes kind of couple or a Tyssedal. One of you will get lost, unable to find their way out of the unending maze that is Floor 3. And someone will get meatballs without the other, a slight so severe I'm pretty sure it's grounds for divorce in some countries.
Basically, you may have entered IKEA in love, but you're sure as hell not leaving that way.
Comedian Jeff Wysaski knows that pain and he's done something to help all the couples attempting to brave the Swedish furniture store.
Wysaski, who runs Tumblr account Obvious Plant, set up a fake relationship saving station at the IKEA in Burbank, California.
"Shopping can be stressful," the sign reads. "Here are 5 quick ways to ease tension with a loved one.
You may have been on the verge of screaming at your partner that a sofa on wheels is something a only psychopath would have in their home. Wysaski suggests couples, "Yell at this tiny horse instead of each other."
For those who have just come out of the bathroom—completely dejected after spending 20 minutes staring at their own reflection trying to come to terms with the fact they are with a person who buys IKEA fish paste in bulk—Wysaski suggests staring at this photo of a puppy in a cup.
"Gaze upon it and remember there is joy in the world," he writes.
Arguing about whether the Klöven outdoor sofa is too large to fit through the door to actually put on your balcony? Wysaski suggests you, "Write down why you're upset and give it to Elsa so she can help you LET IT GO."
If you can't stand to even look at your partner after they suggested you just get rid of some of your shoes instead of paying $99.99 for a Hemnes shoe cabinet, Wysaski suggests you both put on some silly milk carton hats.
"No one can argue while wearing these stupid milk hats," he explains.
Lastly, if you are having a hard time imagining leaving in the same car as your partner, let alone continuing to be with them, Wysaski suggests blowing some bubbles.
"Blow your anger into these bubbles and watch it slowly float away," he writes. "Adios, angry thoughts."
While Wysaski's relationship saving station was planted as a joke, anyone who's ever had an IKEA argument with a significant other knows IKEA should consider implementing them in all stores ASAP.
If you follow Wysaski's suggestions, who knows, you could make it out of there still in a relationship.