Kim Kardashian looks really good, which is why I care about beauty tips from her.
I know this is more or less equivalent to saying, "Firemen do a great job of putting out fires." But I'll say it anyway, because even though I see photos of her face approximately 78 trillion times a day, I'm still occasionally caught off guard by her sheer beauty.
I know looking good is literally her job. (Although is it? Has anyone figured out exactly what her job is yet? Whatever.)
She does get professional help—specifcally from makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic, whom the Daily Mail calls her "well-oiled machine," which is hilarious.
Because his latest Kim Kardashian-approved beauty hack is to use Vaseline everywhere.
"Glossy is the new look," Dedivanovic told the Mail. "Glossy skin, lids and lips. Apply petroleum or glycerin like products onto lids, cheeks and lips for the most gorgeous glow without powdery texture."
It's actually a useful tip—if your look is "glossy"—especially since it's super cheap.
And it seems legit. Here's Dedivanovic, probably covering Kim's face with Vaseline.
I assume it's dropped off at her house in bulk by these Vaseline elves.
And the secret to her hair? Probably Vaseline. So glossy.
And her glossy, glossy clothes?
Yep, I think so too.
"Working with a lighter hand and holding back is the key," Dedivanovic said. Because "holding back" and "low-key" are absolutely the words I think of when I think of Kim Kardashian.
Glossy. Like a well-oiled machine.