Mindy Kaling is kind of perfect. She's smart (Ivy League educated), funny (The Office, The Mindy Project), talented (The TV projects plus her books Is Everyone Hanging Out With Out Me? and Why Not Me?), and beautiful (body positive and all-round bangin'!). Basically she's the world's most perfect role model for young girls. Despite being only six years younger than her, I want to be just like her when I grow up.
In this segment from NPR's Wait, Wait…Don't Tell Me, Mindy joins host Peter Sagal to play a game called "The Home Improvement Project."
The segment starts with Mindy answering questions about her upbringing and career. I won't go into them in detail because they're every bit as delightful as you think they are. When asked about her start in acting, she says, "When I was younger I would audition for plays in junior high and high school, and I would always get cast as, like, the homeless woman or vagrant." See? Delightful. "The Home Improvement Project" game is where things really get interesting. It turns out Mindy Kaling's delightfulness can be applied to all subjects, including home improvement related trivia questions.
"You have a show called The Mindy Project, so we thought we'd ask you three questions about different kind of projects—home improvement projects," Peter explains. "Get two of these right, you will win our prize for one of our listeners."
"On two separate occasions, Home Depot has faced lawsuits from would-be do-it-yourselfers who were very upset when they went to a Home Depot and what happened?" ask Peter. "A) they went to the restroom and found that the toilet seats were strongly, quote, "adhesive," unquote; B) floor staffers called them, quote, "Homo-Depot-sexuals." Or C) they searched the store for someone to help them and realized the place had been completely abandoned for hours."
Mindy is confused as to what kind of abandonment we're talking about here. "Like Walking Dead style?" she asks. Eventually she answers, "OK. I wish it was the first one because that is a great image to have in my head, but I feel it's the last one."
"The answer actually was the first one," says Peter. "It was the adhesive toilet seats." Personally, I would have gone with option three as well.
"Customers themselves sometimes misbehave down at the Home Depot, such as the case in which two people did what?" asks Peter "A) used one of those pre-assembled storage sheds they've got in the parking lot for a private assignation, if you know what I mean; B) had a loud and dangerous light saber fight in the aisle with fluorescent tubes. Or C) tried to give one of the many toilets on display a real-life test."
"It is my God-given right to go to a shed at any Home Depot and do what I like in there, OK?" says Mindy before picking option A. Unfortunately for humankind, she's correct. "This happened in South Carolina, 2013," says Peter. "The couple was removed from the shed and charged with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct."
So, it all comes down to the last question. "There are plenty of celebrity home improvement specialists you can turn to on TV, including which of these?" asks Peter. "A) Lee Majors, host of The $6 Million Bathroom; B) Mr. T., host of I Pity The Tool. Or, C) Mikhail Gorbachev, former Soviet premier, host of Tear Down That Wall And Put Up A New One."
"It couldn't—the second one is so silly," says Mindy "That can't be real." But then she's reminded of the fact that she herself produces an incredibly silly television show. So she chooses B) I Pity The Tool. And somehow, we live in a world in which that answer is correct.
I guess that world isn't so bad when Mindy Kaling is there to comment on it.
Bonus info: I Pity The Tool really is a real show. You can check out video of the DIY Network show here.