PHOTO: FREESTYLE RELEASING
Look, I’m not going to lie: I've been guilty of asking some of the following questions myself. And sure, between close friends, it’s not that bad.
However, when people I hardly know or complete strangers say and ask these things, it’s annoying and sometimes just downright intrusive or presumptuous.
"Where are your kids?"
This one’s my favorite, for sure. Every single time I'm without my kids at the supermarket, at a beauty appointment or even at work, people ask me where the kids are.
how's baby Luna?😍
— Miss December (@omalichaa__)
i dunno i can't find her https://t.co/fEj8rFHEMI
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen)
Does anyone ask Dad that? No, never.
Why is it so hard to believe the kids are NOT with me? Do people assume the worst? What do people expect me to say—“Ummm in the car, duh? The window's cracked,” or, “Oh f***, I forgot them...”?
"You look tired!"
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. I haven’t slept in about three years!
Not only is this a backhanded way of saying “You look like shit”, but when you become a mom, whether your kids sleep through the night or not, your body just becomes attuned to waking up to the slightest sounds. Sometimes you just wake up and think about all the mom shit you've got to do, because mom brains are pretty much incapable of switching off anyway.
"Are you gonna try for a boy?"
I don’t know why people think because you have one gender, you must want the other?
Personally, I love having girls—I'd have 500 more and have no desire to have a boy. But if I had one, then so be it. I’d be happy too.
"Are you still breastfeeding?"
This one annoys me as a mother who has both breastfed and bottle fed.
Who cares? Why does it even matter? The baby is being fed, that’s all that matters! It in no way defines me as a parent or makes me any better or worse than the next.
"Do you feel like you missed out?"
As a younger mom (I had kids at 23—not even that young) people ask me shit like this all the time.
I was one of the first of my friendship group to get married and have kids, but not for a second do I feel I ‘missed out’ on anything. Everyone is different, and their perfect time to ‘start a family’ is different.
I also suggest you don’t ask questions like "Was it planned?", unless you want to be punched in the face.
"I don't know how you do it?"
Do what? I don’t even get it. Trust me, I don't know how I do it either!
Please don’t assume I know what I’m doing, or that I’m doing it better than you or someone else. I don’t need that kind of pressure or expectation. I’m just winging ‘it’, there is no method to my ‘it’—just wine!