PHOTO: UNIVERSAL PICTURES / LOVE ACTUALLY
Every year when the holiday season is upon us, we gather together with our loved ones and watch the same holiday movies we watch every year.
These holiday classics invoke feelings of happy nostalgia. We can remember watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with our families as kids and feeling safe. We can remember bringing Elf home on DVD and insisting everyone watch it, and feeling gratified when everyone laughed hysterically.
These movies just make us feel better.
Well, the internet is here to ruin that.
Here are some of the craziest, yet oddly plausible, fan theories around our favorite holiday movies.
A modern classic like Love Actually is bound to push people off the deep end into a fever-dream search for connections. Sure, the movie is entirely connections, but the internet needs more.
Theory: Liam Neeson's character Daniel is actually in love with Emma Thompson's character Karen.
Evidence: When Daniel bumps into Claudia Schiffer after the school Christmas pageant he calls her Karen. Karen is the woman that's always on his mind, not Claudia Schiffer.
I’ve watched Love Actually 4,000 times. HOW DID I NEVER REALIZE THAT LIAM NEESON IS IN LOVE WITH EMMA THOMPSON? pic.twitter.com/cIvYqRvGDN
— Jen Lewis (@thisjenlewis)
Theory: Mia, the secretary that seduces Alan Rickman's Harry is a demon, who is fighting Rowan Atkinson's Rufus.
Evidence: "The part where she dresses up in a sexy devil costume is kind of a giveaway, especially since it is almost definitely not a fancy dress party," TV Tropes explains. "Also the fact that she makes Alan Rickman's character buy her a gift, a gift which doesn't really mean anything to her, but which she wants instead for what it symbolizes and leads to more than the rather ugly necklace itself. This is also the only story line that seems to end decidedly negatively and the one where Rufus does his best to intervene. For all we know, the movie is actually a supernatural battle between good and evil with the characters just pawns in their game."
I mean, maybe?
If the movie Elf doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing is going to. Will Ferrell's endearingly innocent Buddy is just plain delightful.…or is he?
Theory: Buddy the elf is a perverted peeping tom.
Evidence: Redditor Batfan54 cites the scene where he hears Zooey Deschanel's character singing in the shower and goes to investigate, much to her horror. When she confronts him as to why he was in the ladies locker room while she was naked in the shower, Buddy says, "I didn't know you were naked in the shower."
Only one problem. "Buddy does know what a shower is, and he most certainly knew she was naked!" Batfan54 writes. "We get this scene earlier in the movie, while Buddy is still in the North Pole. Buddy might not be the smartest guy, but he most certainly does know what a shower is, and just how naked one has to be to take one. So what conclusion are we left to draw?
"Buddy, the sicko as he is, was actually trying to peep on Zooey while she was in the shower, and played his sick fetish off as innocence and just wanted to sing a Christmas song."
Theory: Elf is a prequel to the movie Step Brothers
Evidence: Mary Steenburgen plays Will Ferrell's characters' mother in both movies.
What if Buddy's step mom in Elf divorced James Caan, got custody of Buddy, renamed Buddy to Brennan, remarried and that's Step Brothers?
— Trent (@BarstoolTrent)
Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost In New York
Kevin McCallister is left alone, twice, by his family, but courtesy of some cool hi-jinx, does what he has to do to survive.
Theory: Kevin grows up to be Jigsaw from the Saw movies.
Evidence: Redditor Jordoom explains: "What we have in Home Alone & Home Alone 2 is the descent of a troubled, but kind-hearted kid into psychopathy and violence. The young man known as Kevin McCallister makes it his personal mission to torture or 'punish' people for their transgressions, just as he did with the Wet Bandits in Home Alone 2. He becomes the Jigsaw killer."
Theory: John Candy's character in Home Alone is the devil.
Evidence: Kevin's mom, played by Catherine O'Hara is trying to get home by arguing with the ticket agent at the airport. She says "If I have to sell my soul to the devil himself" she's going to get home. That's when John Candy's character Gus says he'll help.
It's a Wonderful Life
Oh no! Not a Christmas classic like It's a Wonderful Life.
Theory: All the suffering that George goes through is a result of Mary's wish at the Granville House.
Evidence: When Mary and George throw rocks through the windows at the Granville House, they make wishes—except George says his out loud so it doesn't come true. Mary, on the other hand, doesn't say her (most likely to marry George and live in the Granville House) out loud, meaning it comes true.
The theory is that the house is a monkey's paw; meaning yes, her wish came true but there are extremely unanticipated horrors that come along with it. So all the awfulness George goes through is as a result of Mary's wish.
Theory: Donnie Darko is an alternative version of It's a Wonderful Life
Evidence: Redditor eviltwinn2 posits that in It's a Wonderful Life, we "have a character who is considering suicide but and angel stops him by showing him what the world would be like without him."
In Donnie Darko we "have a kid who isn't seeking out death, but the angel of death comes to him in the understandable form of a six-foot bunny. Instead of letting him see world without him, he lets him understand what will happen if he DOESN'T let himself be killed."
Whelp. Christmas is cancelled.