I have long suspected Victoria Beckham and I are destined to be friends.
She sang 'Wannabe' on stage in front of millions; I, in front of the mirror, wearing an eye patch.
She married international soccer hottie David Beckham; I played soccer in middle school.
She's famous for never smiling and for having impeccable taste; I smile whenever I taste anything impeccable, like a Snickers bar.
She faces controversy for kissing her daughter on the lips; I too, would be likely to face controversy for kissing her daughter on the lips.
Like I say, friends. Best friends, even.
And when I saw she had a new Vogue video, 'Victoria Beckham's Five-Minute Face', I knew I was going to relate to it on a deep level.
The 42-year-old promotes her new Estée Lauder makeup line by showing how easy it is for her to go from looking like Victoria Beckham to looking like…Victoria Beckham.
The clip opens on a perfectly average morning, much like one I might have.
Beckham enters the shot speaking into a phone, wearing a bathrobe, a towel wrapping her hair, and a giant pair of sunglasses (because, hey, she's Victoria Beckham).
"Yeah, I'll be five minutes," she says into the phone. "I've just got to quickly put some eyes on, a bit of a lip, and then I'll be there."
Beckham then removes her sunglasses to reveal just how alike we really are.
She must have slept in her makeup too! Apparently she wakes up wearing a full face of foundation and eyelash extensions, just like me. (Best friends.)
Obviously chuffed she doesn't have to redo her foundation (which would add a lot of time to her five-minute face), Beckham jumps into what she calls "spicing up her eye".
She uses eyeliner to create the "London look, which is a smoky, dark, quite sexy eye".
She throws on some light-colored lipliner and lipstick to contrast the dark eye.
Highlighter gives her a "really nice healthy glow".
And finally some illuminating cream, which she says "hydrates", "moisturizes" and "tightens".
Boom, she's ready to go have her makeup artist take all this off and start over.