It's said that a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her prince, but in the world of online dating, the following are better analogies:
- A girl has to lower her standards to include men that only make one sexist comment in their profile—instead of the usual eight—before she finds her "good enough".
- A girl has to ignore a lot of unsolicited dick pics before she gives up and gets a cat.
- A girl has to get used to hearing that her date is, “Really busy next week, but I’ll totally give you a call the week after,” before she contemplates whether or not she is actually asexual.
- A girl has to ignore messages from men with usernames like ChubbyExCon that read, "Daaamn, girl, I want to write u poetry and get u pregnant. LoLz," before she meets her current boyfriend of three years.
Okay the last one might just apply to me, but the struggle of online dating is real. After reading Diana Spechler of The Toast's list of reasons she didn't write back to various online dating messages, I'm starting to realize just how lucky I am.
I definitely related to a lot of the reasons Diana gives for not messaging back. She says she didn't message back men who used phrases like, "Hey, I want to be honest here," "No drama queens," and, "Why haven't we hung out yet?" Personally, I'd add "Has anyone ever told you…" and "Do you have any more photos?"
The real joy of this piece are the ridiculous-yet-still-true one-liners. The little tell-tale signs that makes us all cry, "Nope, nope nope." Some of my favorites include: "You mentioned lube," "Your screenname was LusciousRon," "Your Google Glass," and "Your stated preference for positive attitudes."
In addition to some of these just plain creepy guys, Diana puts some of the responsibility for not replying on herself.
"You wrote, 'Hello. Nice profile.' You asked me how my week was going," she writes. "I hadn’t opened my blinds in five days. I thought about responding, 'My week is going well.' I imagined us in two years, dining in a restaurant in silence."
I've definitely been there.
Bonus info: In September 2015, violinist Mia Matsumiya created an Instagram account, , that highlighted some of the worst, most disgusting messages she'd received on online dating sites. She said, "Over the last 10 years, I've archived over 1,000 messages from stalkers, pervs & crazies, & decided to post them all." The account is incredibly upsetting. She's not kidding about the pervs and crazies.