Oh, good lord.
The , Mel Watts, has suffered probably two of the most dreaded moments in any parent's life:
1) Having "The Talk".
2) Getting caught having sex.
And she's unfortunately suffered both of those moments at the exact same time.
Sharing on social media, Mel posted the cringe-worthy yet hilarious story of how her nine-year-old son caught her having sex.
She thought he was sound asleep through the thin walls, but he definitely wasn't.
"…all he said was, 'Could you possibly keep it down when you have sex?'," Mel writes. "To which I replied 'Sure buddy, I'm sorry,' wishing it was appropriate to say 'I'll go neck myself over here'."
As she posted, Mel has been trying to work out when and who should have the talk with her son for a long time.
"For a while we've been going back and forth over who was going to have the sex talk with our oldest son. I didn't want to, I figured I've got another two girls to get through, so it's only right that one of his dads did. Then I thought, maybe he is too young. I figured he is my first child and I had no idea what an appropriate age would be. So I left it."
What was most upsetting for the blogger was how he found out.
"You see, he didn't hear amazing passionate sex. He heard, 'Well that was a waste of a load,"'from me, and—oh, my favourite part—'That was the worst,' courtesy of the husband. Which it was. He said something funny and I laughed really hard, and told him I'm honestly about to pee myself. So as you can imagine, the things the 9 yo was hearing wasn't exactly nice.
"His dad is traumatized.
"His biological dad will be traumatized."
Fortunately enough, she seems to be very much seeing the funny side of the whole catastrophe, with no hopes of being "Mum of the Year".
"I think I'm going to take up celibacy until I'm old and senile and forget that this ever happened…" she writes.
"In the meantime I'll clean my sheets and try my luck at having another baby in 10 years."